- Until you are 18, your parents should take care of you and bring you up
- They have to make big decisions about what happens to you – they may also make rules about how you all live together at home
- Your rights will protect you if your parents don’t treat you properly as you are growing up
Your rights as a child are to be brought up by your family – and no one should stop this unless you are being treated cruelly or neglected, or there is another reason why you can’t be brought up by your parents. Your parents have the responsibility for working out the rules about how you live together on your home. Even if you don’t live with your parents, there will be rules where you live. The rules are usually there to make sure everyone can live together safely in the same place. These may be strict rules which you can’t change, or they may be more relaxed. It will depend on the person or people you live with.
You make decisions about what happens in your life all the time, but lots of the ‘big decisions’ about what happens to you as a child or young person are made by the people with parental responsibility for you. As you get older you will probably be more interested in the ‘rules’ your parents set, and the decisions that affect you. You will also have more opportunity to be involved in the ‘big’ decision making, either because your parents or the people with parental responsibility involve you, or because you are given the right to make a particular decision.
Every household has different way of working, but there is usually an understanding about what kind of behaviour is and isn’t acceptable, and what everyone is expected to do. These might be specific things like keeping your room tidy or doing the washing up. If you don’t live with your parents for some reason, there will be rules where you do live - even if they aren’t called ‘rules’.
You have the right to be protected from violence. The UNCRC says that no one should hurt or harm you, including your parents (Article 19). There is a law in England and Wales that says that it is a criminal offence for someone to hit – or ‘assault’ - someone else.
Since May 2022 in Wales, (but NOT in England) children have the same protection from assault as adults. This didn’t used to be the case.
Before May 2022 your parent or carers could hit – or assault – you and claim that this was ‘reasonable punishment’. This meant they couldn’t be prosecuted for the criminal offence of assault.
The defence of ‘reasonable punishment’ only applied if the hit (or ‘smack’) didn’t leave a mark, or a wound.
The defence of ‘reasonable punishment’ meant that there was a difference between how the law treated adults and how it treated children – there has never been a defence of reasonable punishment anyone who assaults an adult.
Wales has now recognised this inequality between the protection given to adults against assault and the lack of protection for children. In January 2020, the Senedd or Welsh Parliament passed a new law called the Children (Abolition of Reasonable Punishment) (Wales) Act. This law means that parents and carers can no longer rely on the defence of reasonable punishment if they assault their child.
So, it is important for you to know that physical punishment of children is illegal in Wales.
It is illegal for your parents or carers to punish you using physical force. Physical punishment can mean smacking, hitting, slapping and shaking or any other punishment using physical force.
You have the right to be cared for without violence or abuse, so you should tell someone if you are being hurt by your parents or anybody else.
No.
No one is allowed to punish you using physical force. This includes your parents or carers, or anyone else who is responsible for you while your parents are absent. This includes grandparents, a child minder, teachers or anyone else who may be looking after.
Anyone who physically punishes you will be breaking the law and will risk being arrested or charged with assault.
No one likes to be told that they have done something wrong, or to have the decisions they have made questioned. Your parents (or the people you live with) should challenge you – it’s part of their responsibility to bring you up and to care for you. However, if they do this in a way that is cruel or unkind, they could be breaking the law, especially if they always talk to you like this, even if they aren’t telling you off. If you are worried about the way the people who are looking after you talk to you, talk to another adult that you trust about it.
Although it seems that your parents make all the decisions, you will make decisions about your life all the time. Decisions about who to be friends with, decisions about what to watch on TV or what you listen to. Decisions to be kind or unkind and decisions about respecting the rules. It’s true, though, that until you are 18, the big decisions are really made by your parents or other adults, including social workers and the courts depending on your situation.
As you get older, you will be more aware of the decisions that are being taken about you and what they mean for you. You will start to be able to make more decisions yourself and will want to be able to be involved in decision making.
Just because you don’t live with your parents doesn’t mean they won’t be involved in making decisions about you. It will depend on why you aren’t living with your parents, and whether someone else has parental responsibility for you as well as your parents.
All mothers and most fathers in Wales have legal rights and responsibilities to look after their children. This is known as ‘parental responsibility’. More than one person can have parental responsibility for you.
Your mum always has parental responsibility for you. Your dad has responsibility for you, as well as your mum, if he was married to your mum when you were born, or if he is included on your birth certificate. Your dad can also apply for parental responsibility. Your mum can agree that he has parental responsibility, or a court can order it. If your parents are in a civil partnership, or in a same-sex marriage, they can both have parental responsibility.
Other people that can have parental responsibility with your parents a step parent, a guardian or the local authority.
Your mother will always have parental responsibility for you until you reach 18 unless she dies or you are adopted.
The person or people with parental responsibility must look after you and keep you safe. They must make sure you get an education, make decisions about any medical treatment you might need, they must give you a name (and agree to you changing your name), and must look after your property. This will usually be your parents but if your parents can’t make decisions about you for some reason, then someone else with parental responsibility can make these decisions.
As you develop and grow up, you will have views about what happens to you. This could include which school you go to, whether you follow a religion (or not) or about medical treatment. It could also include decisions about who you live with if your parents split up. Different procedures can apply depending on the type of decision that is being made. Your parents may start to include you in decisions as you get older. If they don’t do this, you could ask them if you can be more involved in decision making. If it’s hard to get them to listen, you could think about asking another adult to help you talk to your parents about this.